This weeks guest shouter

As Ramadan is in full swing in the Muslim worlds, the worlds mosque are gearing up for a season of extreme shouting for Fridays prays. Rich mosques import guest shouters to enthral and entertain the faithful. One such guest shouter Mahmoud Sisi the Sissy, has recently been employed in Saudi. 'I work all year for this, I ease of the shisha and the whisky so I can give a 20 minute hell and damnation to my spectators. I build up to the eyes bulging, spit induced frenzy to impose fear in all around me. By the time I'm finished I've convinced them all they are going to hell. It really helps with the zakat, which of course I get a 20% take off.'

When asked did he think he was cashing in on the period of the year people felt most spiritual, he did show some repentance. 'I was upset when one man committed suicide, as if he wanted to kill himself he should have done it in martyrdom, but I did manage a 20 minute rant at his dead body for the sake of my audience.'

This man showed no fear during the interview, except when asked who he thought was the best shouter in world Islam. 'It's my grandmother. She scares the shit out of me. Thank Allah, women are not allowed in male mosques or I'll be out of job'