Monday 21 October 2013

Crazy news from around the world - Malaysia

The fact that it even got to a court of law is crazy, then on top of that the court says certain groups cannot use a word is even crazier still. My favourite bit in the article is they are worried Muslims might convert to Christianity because Christians in Malaysia use the word Allah. Wow, they must be pretty stupid people to fall for that old trick but aren't they supposed to be worshipping the same god anyway?

Human stupidity knows no bounds.

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Malaysia court rules non-Muslims cannot use 'Allah'

Muslim demonstrators chant slogans outside Malaysia's Court of Appeal in Putrajaya, outside Kuala Lumpur 14 October 2013The court case has sparked debate in Muslim-majority Malaysia

Related Stories

A Malaysian court has ruled that non-Muslims cannot use the word Allah to refer to God, even in their own faiths, overturning a 2009 lower court ruling.
The appeals court said the term Allah must be exclusive to Islam or it could cause public disorder.
People of all faiths use the word Allah in Malay to refer to their Gods.
Christians argue they have used the word, which entered Malay from Arabic, to refer to their God for centuries and that the ruling violates their rights.
One Malaysian Christian woman said the ruling would affect the community greatly.

Analysis

The verdict does not come as a surprise to the two million Christians in Malaysia. Many of them believe that the case stems from a tight race between the governing Malay-Muslim party, UMNO, and the opposition Islamic party, PAS.
The Allah ban is seen as an attempt by UMNO to boost its Islamic credentials and win back votes. It's an issue that crops up in the government-linked media ahead of an election and promptly dwindles after the vote.
Christians are so convinced that this issue is about political posturing that most followers say they will continue to use the offending Bibles and use the word Allah in their worship.
Not all Muslims back the ban. But one of the most outspoken supporters is an influential group called Perkasa, which is backed by former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad - a champion of Malay-Muslim rights.
"If we are prohibited from using the word Allah then we have to re-translate the whole Bible, if it comes to that," Ester Moiji from Sabah state told the BBC.
'Disappointed and dismayed'
The 2009 ruling sparked tensions, with churches and mosques attacked.
It came after the government said that a Catholic newspaper, The Herald, could not use the word in its Malay-language edition to describe the Christian God.
The newspaper sued, and a court ruled in their favour in December 2009. The government then launched an appeal.
Upholding the appeal on Monday, chief judge Mohamed Apandi Ali said: "The usage of the word Allah is not an integral part of the faith in Christianity. The usage of the word will cause confusion in the community."
The Herald editor Reverend Lawrence Andrew said he was "disappointed and dismayed", and would appeal against the decision.
"It is a retrograde step in the development of law in relation to the fundamental liberty of religious minorities," he said.
The newspaper's supporters have argued that Malay-language Bibles have used Allah to refer to the Christian God since before Malaysia was formed as a federal state in 1963.
"Allah is a term in the Middle East and in Indonesia it is a term both for Christians and Muslims. You cannot say that in all of the sudden it is not an integral part. Malay language is a language that has many borrowed words, Allah also is a borrowed word."
However, some Muslim groups have said that the Christian use of the word Allah could be used to encourage Muslims to convert to Christianity.
Editor of Catholic Newspaper The Herald Lawrence Andrew: 'God is an integral part of every religion'
"Allah is not a Malay word. If they [non-Muslims] say they want to use a Malay word they should use Tuhan instead of Allah," Zainul Rijal Abu Bakar, a lawyer representing the government, told the BBC.
Dozens of churches and a few Muslim prayer halls were attacked and burned in the wake of the 2009 ruling, highlighting the intensity of feeling about issues of ethnicity and faith in Malaysia.
Some Malaysians believe the governing Malay-Muslim party is using the case to boost its Islamic credentials among voters, the BBC's Jennifer Pak reports from outside the court in Putrajaya.
Malay Muslims make up almost two-thirds of the country's population, but there are large Hindu and Christian communities.
Prime Minister Najib Razak's coalition won elections in May, but it was the coalition's worst result in more than half a century in power.

Sense of perspective

It is a tragedy a young British girl lost her life in Qatar, it seems that she was murdered but we do not know all the facts yet. We need a sense of perspective, this was not an example of Qataris murdering expats, it's was just some bad people doing bad things. We can only hope they are caught and punish appropriately. Remember only a few years ago a young Qatari was killed in the UK, this does not mean all British people are murdering bastards who hate foreigners. It just means some idiots got in a fight and the consequences are tragic. The two cases are slightly different in what happen, but all we should look for now is justice for Lauren Patterson not unwarranted attacks against Qatari people

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Police have made a number of arrests over the suspected murder of a British primary school teacher last seen outside a five-star hotel in Qatar.
Lauren Patterson, 24, vanished in the early hours on Saturday in the Gulf state's capital Doha. Her body was found in the desert, according to The Times newspaper.
The cause of her death and the location where the body was found have not been confirmed by authorities.
The Qatar Interior Ministry said in a statement: "The police have arrested the suspects. The case has been referred to public prosecution."
Her mother Allison Patterson has flown to Doha and vowed to "fight for justice".
The 48-year-old told the Daily Mail it had been "extremely stressful" waiting for forensic results to confirm the body was her daughter's.


She said: "Lauren was a wonderful young woman who was having the time of her life in Doha. She had made so many friends.

Thursday 17 October 2013

Look no gays!

After a minister in Kuwait proposed medical checks for homosexuals as part for the expat residence process it posed a few questions for me. How will they detect gays? Hang around the supermarkets and see which men buy quiche? (of course we all know real men do not eat quiche). Ask at immigration whether they have a penchant for interior design or work in film or media? (Especially reality shows)

All very confusing and also this only targets men, lesbians are not really considered gay in the Middle East.

This brings me to my last point, it is probably easier for homosexuals to blend in here than anywhere else. You can walk down the street holding hands, kiss on the check, do nose kissing and spend all your time in the company of men and no one will say a word. So if you will a gay paradise.

Me thinks the Kuwait minister is not so much trying to bar gays from the Middle East but make it easier to identify them so men in the gulf don't have to waste time on sussing out who to approach....

Qatar migrant workers S&M fetish

After the furore regarding the Guardian's article on the treatment of low paid Asian migrant workers in Qatar, the Qatar government has responded with its on PR offensive. In fact according to the Qatar government spokesman Abdulla Al Serious, the migrant workers come precisely because they are treated badly.

"These workers especially those from Nepal are S&M lovers and cannot find the pain and humiliation in their own country they crave, but this is where the accommodating employers of Qatar come in. In exchange for building high rise towers, roads and secret desert knocking shops we treat them like the scum they deserve, I mean want to be. Some people would say this is I humane but these people cannot get what they want in their own country due to 'stupid laws', but we believe in freedom of choice between consenting adults"

Our request to interview one of the Nepalese workers was greeted with enthusiasm in the presence of his employer, however it was hard to ask the questions we wanted while he was being beaten but we continued anyway. Gash Putu had this to say, "I, ow! love it here, ow! Sleeping 20 to a room is awful, ow! I mean it means I am close to my fellow Nepalis so we are like brothers. Even not getting paid is a pleasure as I believe if you do not suffer in life you are not living. Well that is what it says on the entrance to my concentration camp, ow! I mean, luxury accommodation with a gym and hot and cold flowing concubines. Can I go now? Ow!"

The Ambassador for the Nepalese Embassy and government officials from Nepal declined to be interviewed but said off the record that they are pleased to help their fellow Nepalis achieve their perverted dreams and the fact they all own recruitment agencies and receive huge finders fees from companies in Qatar is just a huge coincidence in parallel with their humanitarian work.

Friday 4 October 2013

The danger of T Shirts

How to stop perceived harassment? Well harass them, treat them like criminals when they have broken no law.

Quite strange and what has gone wrong with the Brits. Heavy handed tactics over what? Terrorism? Someone carrying a gun? Physical violence and threats against other students?

No. T-Shirts. Yes that's right t-shirts. Wearing t shirts has killed so many people in the world obviously so security needs to be called to make sure there are not worn. Utter madness.

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LSE student Society intimidated at Freshers' Fair over "offensive" t-shirts
Posted: Fri, 04 Oct 2013 09:45

A row over free expression has broken out at the London School of Economics after members of the LSESU Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Student Society were told they would be physically removed from the annual Freshers' Fair unless they covered up t-shirts deemed "offensive".
Student Union officials removed materials from the LSESU Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Student Society stand and demanded that the group removed t-shirts they were wearing featuring satirical Jesus and Mo cartoons. When asked for an explanation, LSESU officials stated that several students had complained about the t-shirts.
After a period of consultation a member of the LSE Legal and Compliance Team and Head of Security told the members of the Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Society that the wearing of the t-shirts could be considered "harassment", as it could "offend others" by creating an "offensive environment".
After challenging the actions of LSE officials, members of the Society were told they were not behaving in an "orderly and responsible manner". The group eventually complied by covering the t-shirts, but were closely followed by security guards for the remainder of the day.

http://www.secularism.org.uk/news/2013/10/lse-student-society-intimidated-at-freshers-fair-over-offensive-t-shirts

Wednesday 13 March 2013

Qatar buys rights to Papal Conclave

In a stunning move that has shocked the world the Qatar Religious Investment Bureau has bought the rights to electing the next Pope. The deliberations will be moved from the Sistine Chapel in Vatican City and move to Katara in a coup which will have the world's 1.2 billion Catholics glued to their TV sets for the announcement on who will be the next Pope.

Following on from winning the rights to hosting the 2022 FIFA World Cup and from the annual Doha Tribeca Film Festival, this move is surely going to put Qatar even more in the spotlight than before. It is rumoured Qatar has spend 2 billion dollars buying the rights to this event, although both the Vatican and QRIB deny the figure is that high.

The move has attracted some criticism saying that Qatar did not play fair when bidding for the rights and used underhand methods to outbid Russia and Somalia for exclusive rights and worldwide TV broadcasts.

All criticism was brushed aside by the spokesman for QRIB, Sheik Jean Paul Al Holy III, “This is just a few individuals and old countries jealous of the important steps Qatar is making in its development. They don’t believe an Arab country has the right to hold such an important event and to do it right. We will prove them wrong that this small country has a big heart and takes electing the next Pope very seriously.’

When questioned further on what Qatar can bring to the Papal Conclave, Sheik Al Holy III was bursting with pride, “we will replace the traditional smoke from the chimney with the British Red Arrows flying over the Corniche to announce the result, red smoke for a successor has been chosen and black smoke for no result. We haven’t decided yet what to do for a draw but apparently the Cardinals are too old to take part in a penalty shoot out. “

So for the first time in over 1000 years the decision to elect the new Pope will not take place in the Vatican but in Qatar and it was further confirmed that whoever the successful candidate is will be given an apartment on the Pearl, a liquor licence and will have a 5 year sponsorship contract with Ooreedoo. Imagine the robes coloured red with the logo on the back and the front during Easter mass/

Rumours that Qatar will put forward their own candidate have been denied.

Friday 15 February 2013

Pope, "business as usual"

As Pope Benedict announced his resignation he quickly moved to reassure the faithful and those employees of the church. 'A new Pope does not mean we will forget our old friends or have a rapid change in policy. We will still follow the same homophobic, sexist, condom hating rhetoric we have always done, we will just hire a better PR man. Hey when it worked for the last 1000 years why change?'

'As for the employees of the church, we will not forsake you. We will defend you from those vicious children who seek to bring down the church and if it gets to hot for you in your own country and the police come calling, just phone123666123, preist relocation service and you will be whisked away to another country that is happy to turn a blind eye to the Catholic Church and its doings.'

An insider at the Vatican claimed this could be the biggest corporate reshuffle since the church was awarded exclusive rights to misogyny, homophobia, inquisitions and mass blind following in 150 from the Roman Empire. 'Of course we are against condoms he said, the Muslims are outbreeding us and although they do a good job of killing other Muslims we are worried about our market share and the best way of keeping ahead is getting them young, as conversion is harder to do, especially with people having access,to education and now are thinking for themselves.'

Saturday 9 February 2013

Western Films remade for a Middle East audience


Basic Instinct
A pshychological thriller with the main characters sleeping with each other at random times. No ones finds out who did as all the main characters get stoned to death at the end


Under Veil and Under Veil 2
A remake of the classic Steven Segal franchise. An arab lady seeks revenge against her husband for not buying that Gucci bag she was promised. She undercooks his lamb and forgets the huumus, theyby angering him to heart attack status


Non-Dirty Dancing
A religious film about the evils of dancing and music. An effigy of Patrick Swayze is stoned at the end.


Blade-Labour-Runners
Set in Jeddah in 2030. All the expatriates have been replaced by muslims robots indistinguishable from true believers. It all goes wrong when they set up their own religion and demand equal rights...


Bridget Husseins Diary
Day 1 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 2 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 3 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 4 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 5 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 6 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 7 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 8 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 9 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 10 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men
Day 11 - Covered up, stayed in, met no men